What is Your WISH this Christmas?

Every year parents ask their kids to give them a little help- by writing a Christmas list to Santa. When was the last time YOU put a wish-list together?

Lists like these are helpful any time of year and they always help you put your priorities in order. Of course, Christmas is a special time where hope seems to be in abundance. So, what are you wishing for???

What do you need?

What might be cool?

What will make you more HAPPY?

If you were dreaming really big- what is top of the list?

I wish for continued good health. I wish for enough money to get my dental visits in order. I wish for bi-weekly massages for my mental health. I wish my eyes were better- but will get them checked to see just how bad they are!!

I wish my whole family will be able to spend a leaisurely Christmas season together- just hanging out, going skating or tabogganing, eating great food, and enjoying one anothers' company. Each year passes faster and faster and time together seems few and far between.

I wish to get my finances in order to relieve stress and to start towards the process of improving my credit rating and eventually buying a small, quaint house of my own.

I wish for a couple more good friends. Everyone can use more. I would loveto find one or two more people who genuinely like me, want to spend time with me, will accept me including my flaws, my limits and my insecurities. I want someone to go to the movies with, someone to hang out on the beach with, someone to call me and ask how I am, how my day went and what I'm dreaming of.

I want a boyfriend too. Someone who is smart, witty, who likes to cuddle and be physical- not just in a sexual way, but in a genuine loving way. Someone to just hold hands with, someone to dance with, someone to lean my head on when we watch tv at home. I want someone to LOVE me- for me. I want a lot I guess.

I wish time would slow down just a bit- not time while I'm at work- but time when I'm away from work. Work is fine- don't get me wrong, but time away is real life. I want time to bake, time to draw more, time to creat a book of great photos, time to improve my singing voice again, time to travel, well- you get the idea. . .

I will add to this list over the next few days- but think- REALLY THINK about what you would wish for-

NEED- What Children Need . . . and it's not more "things"!

The following is taken from a Kellogg's commercial from 1998. The message here is easy to forget- Parents often don't want their kids to make mistakes, feel any pain, ever fail etc. BUT all of these things are necessary for them to grow up and be responsible, upstanding people who can handle adversity and real life!

We, the children NEED . . . .

encouragement - on the ball field, on the way to school, when we make a mistake . . .

to laugh - at funny things, at ourselves, but not so much at others

inspiration - so we aim high!

to be read to -

self-esteem - but like respect, we need to earn it- false self-esteem is useless

love and security- unconditionally

adventure - learning to manage potential risk is important-

disappointment- then we learn to appreciate good times even more!

friendship- in all its forms and from all generations

to make mistakes - let's just not dwell on them

to ask questions

to win - and be humble when we do- and also congratulate others when they do . . .

to lose/ fail

to be hugged (daily is preferable)

families, friends and even foes

heroes- BIG, BIG heroes, but also everyday heroes

nourishment- for our bodies and our souls!

Some Interesting Facts- On the Human Body

-Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.
-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
-You use 200 muscles to take one step.
-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
-There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born
-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

Some SMART Philosophies and Rules To Live By- taken from Barbara Colorosso

6 Critical Life Messages:

1. I BELIEVE in You

2. I TRUST in You

3. I KNOW You can handle Life's Situations

4. You are Listened to

5. You are Cared for [Loved!]

6. You are Very Important to Me/Us

2 Basic Philosophical Points:

1. You are Worth It!

2. I will not treat a person in a way that I would not want to be treated.

3 Messages that Help Foster Self-Esteem

1. I LIKE myself

2. I can THINK for myself

3. There is No Problem so great, it can't be solved!

AND, one of the BEST things I have seen written on being ACCOUNTABLE for oneself!!! . . .

"I understand and realize that I am responsible for what I do and believe in and that I am capable of changing my situation IF I so decide"

Possible BIG new CHANGE in the US??

It sounds like there are some interesting things being proposed in the US. Check out the quote below-

104 of the U.S. military's retired generals and admirals have called for repeal of the nation's discriminatory "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in a document released Monday.

Says the document: "We – the undersigned -- respectfully call for the repeal of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Those of us endorsing this letter have dedicated our lives to defending the rights of our citizens to believe whatever they wish. Scholarly data shows there are approximately one million gay and lesbian veterans in the United States today as well as 65,000 gays and lesbians currently serving in our armed forces. They have served our nation honorably. We support the recent comments of former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, General John Shalikashvili, who has concluded that repealing the "don't ask, don't tell" policy would not harm and would indeed help our armed forces. As is the case with Great Britain, Israel, and other nations that allow gays and lesbians to serve openly, our service members are professionals who are able to work together effectively despite differences in race, gender, religion, and sexuality. Such collaboration reflects the strength and the best traditions of our democracy."

What a thought- giving homosexuals the credit that they can play well with others. I am glad to see that there are some Americans who see this is an important issue. Maybe there is hope after all of eventually getting true equlality- it would be a great and long overdue change.

My GRATEFUL List . . .

I have decided to do a list, once every couple of weeks, to outline the things I am grateful for in my life. I think it is important to look closely- not at what things need work- but at what IS working well in life. I have many reasons to be grateful, and the list below is just the beginning of what should be a number of posts on the subject.

Here goes . . . . .

I am grateful to be in good health. I am 41- have few aches and pains - have no known allergies or illnesses - may not be the most fit person around, but live day to day without any real pain. I am grateful to wake up almost every morning after a good night's sleep. I am grateful that other than the odd cold or flu, my health is good.

I am grateful for a family that is very close. I have taken for granted how lucky I really am. I have a family that is close in proximity and in terms of spending time together. My family all live within 30 minutes or so from me. They have been there to support me in times of need and are always supportive and can be great cheerleaders too when needed. It is great to be able to spend time just being with all of them. A close family is something many people do not have and many more wish for all the time.

I have often said that I would rather have one really good friend, than . . . . Well, unconventional as it may be, I do have a friend who amazes me on a regular basis. I am lucky enough to have a friend who accepts me for who I am. I have a friend who I can trust with anything. I would do anything for this friend and he means the world to me. We can talk about anything and everything, but also can sit in silence and just enjoy each other's company. Being together just feels right. I care for this person more than he may ever know. I would do anything for him and am very grateful for everything we have been through so far. I can only hope this will continue to be the case. Friends are angels in disguise.

I am grateful to have a place to live. It may only be an apartment, but it is way more than many people in the world have. I have a place to lay my head at night. I have hot water, a place to cook, I have THINGS, too many things likely, but things that make me happy. I have a place to relax, a place to work, watch movies, be with friends and be myself. I have a roof over my head and for that I am grateful.

I am grateful that one of my athletes did not get seriously hurt the other night. This athlete, who is extremely talented, was injured doing something he is very capable of doing. Simple mistake and it could have been a major injury. Luckily he has some bruising and some pain, muscular strains but nothing life-changing. I am very grateful that someone was looking out for this young man the other day.

To Be Continued . . . .

Beauty- In the Eye of the Beholder-

Beauty is Everywhere!

SSSSShhhhhhhhhhh- It's a bit of a secret- Beauty is everywhere BUT you do need to look closely sometime to find it.

How Do You Help?

"Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty"

A random act of kindness is a purportedly selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual or in some cases even an animal. There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile, or be happier. Either spontaneous or planned in advance, random acts of kindness are encouraged by various communities. An oft-cited example of a random act of kindness is, when paying the toll at a toll booth on a highway, to pay the toll for the vehicle behind you as well.

Here are just some ideas that you can use to "Practice Random Acts of Kindness"

Buy a meal for a young couple or family sitting next to you at a restaurant. Leave the Kindness card with the waitress to give them after you leave. It is a nice surprise they will never forget. It may even make them consider the mortality of their own children and lessen what time they may take for granted.
Partake in a Christmas Angel Program. Leave the card so they know your motivation of love!
Buy shoes or clothes for a family in need.
Bake cookies for a neighbor or teacher, just because.
Help an elderly person with yard work or grocery shopping. Many elderly people have a story or two to tell about their own baby that died many years ago.
Visit a nursing home and bring cupcakes. Sit and visit with a few of the residents. You'd be amazed at the loving reception you will receive as many residents rarely receive visitors.
Sign up to participate in a program such as Feed the Children. Your Kindness card will tell them the story of why you are doing this.
Donate to your favorite nonprofit group on your child's birthday or death day. Ask family members and friends to do the same.
Volunteer your time at a local homeless shelter or a crisis nursery.
Buy a new calendar for a workmate.
Donate some grief books to the library or a local support group.
Leave an extra large tip for your food server!
Buy the meal for the person behind you at the fast food drive through.
Leave a bouquet of flowers on someone’s front door step.
Bake goodies and take them to the police station, fire station, or hospital.
Pay a local teen to mow an elderly neighbor’s yard.
Crochet a baby’s blanket and take it to the hospital nursery. Premature babies can always use tiny booties and caps.
Buy a balloon bouquet and ask the nurses the children’s hospital to deliver them to a child.
Make a memorial donation to honor your loved one and a friend’s loved one.
Take a box of doughnuts to an elementary school for a classroom.
Plug someone’s parking meter.
Go to the post office in mid December and ask for of the “letters to Santa” that they get every year. Buy and send the gift on Christmas.
Adopt a street or just pick up litter in the neighborhood.
Leave your change in the soda machine for the next person. It's a nice surprise.
Buy coffee for the person standing behind you in line.
Write to management at places where you get especially good service and commend them (specify names!)
Tape a quarter to a pay phone with a note welcoming anyone who needs it to use it.
Adopt a family through a social service agency, not just at Christmas. People go hungry all year.
Plant a tree or some flowers for a local church. Perhaps offer to “build” a Memorial Garden.
Volunteer at a local shelter, crisis nursery or soup kitchen. This will give more to you than you can imagine.
Volunteer to read to children at your nearest library.
Send your child a note in his lunchbox. Remind them how special they are to you.
Organize a large toy, clothing and diaper drive for a crisis nursery.
Pay for a small child's candy at a convenient store.
Pay for someone's toll and/or gas.
Look for opportunities to open the door for someone or give up your seat for someone.
Buy lunch for the couple or family sitting next to you as you pay your own. Be sure to be secretive!
Buy a toy for a child in the store and ask the clerk to deliver it after you’ve gone.

It is important to do these acts "anonymously". You will not need recognition to feel good about what you've done. You will know in your heart that you've done something special to make someone else's life better.

PROCRASTINATION! Aaaagggghhhhh. . . . Why is it always so tough to do what we KNOW we NEED TO DO?

Laziness? Selfishness? What do we really get out of procrastinating?

In some sense, procrastination gives us some sense of control over our lives. We get to chose what we are going to do at this moment- or an hour from now, or next week. The problem is that what procrastination does is ultimately force us to do things at the last minute- taking away our choice at that moment.

Procrastination can cost us a lot more than that. What happens when you pay a credit card late? What happens when you put off work to play on the internet? What if you delay your car's oil changes or postpone doctor's appointments? Ultimately all of these things can really hurt us.

So, what makes one put things off? Are the repercussions not enough to sway us? What needs to happen to drive us to do the things we can do now, now?

Altruism- What makes me do the things I do?

Altruism by definition: Unselfish concern for the welfare of others

Or, unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of others

and with regards to animals (zoology) :

"behavior by an animal that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but that benefits others of its species"

Often, people with lots of money, usually in their latter years become philanthropists- people who perform charitable acts- selfless acts with their money. An argument could be said that they gain something from these acts- they may get some tax "write-offs", and of course they have every right to feel good about doing something positive with their money.

My question is this- what happens when a person feels the need- or instinctually feels they should perform these "random acts of kindness", or continually puts the needs of others above their own needs? What happens if this person has very little to offer? Can someone make a difference in the lives of others without money? How can this be an "instinct"? In animals it has been shown- especially in bees- that the worker/ drone bees will do everything in their power to make sure the hive and queen prosper. Their lives can willingly be lost in an effort for the rest to live. Can people have the same instincts???

Certainly most people know of Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa is known as a Catholic who continually worked to help others.

I am in no way comparing myself to Mother Teresa. I have done little to really make a differecne in the lives of others- but I do feel a strong calling to put the needs of others before mine. Is this wrong? How, when some people are so self-absorbed and selfish can the opposite seem to be the right thing to do?

I have more questions than answers in this posting- and I think have raised some interesting points- I would LOVE to hear comments from others. Do you know anyone who seems to be altruistic? Can the instinct to give of oneself override the self-preservation instinct?

Prop 8- My first real Political post

This video is something everyone in North America should see. It does not force the issue, but is very heart-felt and does make one think. I think this is very intelligent and very current. Please take the time to listen to this 6 minute video. And, if you think what is being presented is worthwhile, please pass it along to your friends. Just something to think about. . . . . . . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnHyy8gkNEE

Not sure how many Canadians have even heard of Prop 8 in the state of California, but it has just been passed and I think it is a cause for some concern. Last June, California legalized same-sex marriage. Some 18 000 people in the US have been married since that time- but last Tuesday, this has been reversed with a 52% vote.

There have been some protests in West Hollywood and Los Angeles over the past few days and there are now some lawsuits being filed to fight these changes. What is interesting is that the consultants hired to put together a campaign to inform the people of California of the issue decided not to protray gay couple in their ads. Now, people affected by this decision are up in arms.

I could never see myself wanting to get married. I do not necessarily think it is necessary- BUT, I do think that those who want to have the same rights as heterosexuals should be able to.

In Barack Obama's speech the night of his election win, he specifically mentioned all diverse populations- black, white, gay, straight, disabled, non-disabled etc. I do not think that when he was talking about all of these groups that he meant to discuss them but that some were more important or had more rights than others.

I am proud that Canada has legalized gay-marriage and hope that sometime soon the state of California starts to think about the message they are sending to the thousands of gay citizens of their state. How about- "We accept you the way you are".

Question- Is Love ALWAYS unequal ?

Lately I've been thinking- It seems to me that when thinking of love and relationships- one person always seems to be more "in-love" than the other. Not to say that Love is one-sided, but there doesn't seem to be an equal love. Am I wrong?

I know of many marriages- successful and not-so-much, that have seemingly an unequal balance in terms of love. By that I mean that one person seems to love the other more. One person seems to put more time and energy into making the relationship work. This brings a number of other questions to the forefront.

1. Does one person always persue the other? or Does it ever happen where there is a big, mutual attraction at the same time?

2. Does it ever happen where both people in a relationship want out at the same time?

3. Does the person who is "loved more" ever take advantage of their situation and use the other's love against them?

4. Can the person who is not as "in-love" ever grow in their love for the other person?

5. Is the "more-loved" person always happier than the other? Is the person who loves more concerned about possibly losing more if the relationship doesn't work?

I really do think I have found something here and I do believe this to be a true phenomenon. Is there anything out there to back this up? Am I lost? Let me know your thoughts- I'd be very glad to hear what you think.